Mistress Youth

Youth is a fickle mistress
Batting her clear green eyes
Whispering in your ear…
I will stay with you forever

Naively, you believe her
Slug through the weeks
And months and years
Thinking she will always be there

You live your days for others
Instead of yourself and her, while
Work and family obligations
Mindlessly gorge on time perennial

Time you should have spent loving
Time you should have spent living
Time you should have spent just being
Time you should have spent with her

Until one morning you wake up alone
She has left you for someone younger
Leaving you old and worn out and used up
No good to yourself or anyone else

You see her out with her new love
And grow angry and resentful and hard
Hating her for abandoning you
Hating her for being happy without you

Then slowly you come to realize
That she did not leave you
You left her, long ago, standing alone
Beneath the glow of an eighties moon

Photo from Pixabay 

Silly Girl

once upon a time…

there was a silly girl
who didn’t see
the mistake she made
by trusting he

she gave her heart
she gave her all
and he tripped her up
just to watch her fall

he felt big by
making her small
used sarcasm and anger
kept her back to the wall

he didn’t listen
he didn’t see
that she stopped loving him
wanted only to be free

now he’s sorry
but it came too late
for too long he sowed meanness
and now he reaps her hate

Wednesday’s Child

I was not born to be happy…

No bright star shown down on me
When I was dropped headfirst into the world
Red-faced, kicking, screaming
And placed in my mother’s arms—
The only true home I’ve ever known

Instead, a dark star witnessed my birth
Stepped out of hell’s black hole
Took me in its cold bony hands
And christened me “Wednesday’s Child”
Damning me to a life full of woe

Not for me fair of face or full of grace
A clumsy witch with frizzy red hair
Who mounts her broom
And beneath an alabaster moon
Runs wild with the night

Night understands, night knows
What beats inside my heart
What tangles and twists my soul
It doesn’t question, doesn’t judge
Night is my beloved familiar

There’s a certain comfort in failure
A happiness inside misery
A pleasure in absent feelings
For a Wednesday’s Child
Who has serenely accepted her fate

For…
I was not born to be happy

Photo from Pixabay

Better

mistrust
distrust
no trust

been blue
been bruised
been used

cracked love
crushed love
no love

feelings gone
all alone
have no home

better this way
no piper to pay
with myself I lay

won’t be shamed
nor called names
play no games

just want peace
pain to cease
dark oblivion’s release

Photo from Pixabay

I Wait

sprawl in a wrinkled, uneasy bed
old demons and new share the covers
they jabber and snicker, toss and turn
chase away forgetful sleep
eyes on the shadowed ceiling
I wait for sunrise…

pour a cup of bitter, black coffee
greet the ghosts of past friends and lovers
resentful and accusing in their stony silence
tears slide down unforgiving cheeks
eyes on the cold floor
I wait for sunset…

pace dingy, dark, shuttered rooms
regrets, fuck-ups, and what-ifs hover
lamplight glints on gunmetal gray
what you sow, you shall reap
eyes on the bore of eternity
I wait for death’s release

Photo from iStock

Wolf

the wolf is at the door
he growls … I moan
he knows I am in here
afraid and all alone

the wolf is at the door
he claws the ancient wood
he knows I am behind it
he knows I will taste good

the wolf is at the door
his nose draws in my smell
he tastes the sapidity of my fear
his appetite I will quell

the wolf is at the door
I rise to let him in
this night will be an atonement
a night to pay for sins

the wolf is at the door
I gather my courage close
my fingers curl round the icy knob
I let in the lupine ghost

the wolf is in the door
he snarls … I scream
thrust my dagger into his heart
and carve out his bloody wet dream

the wolf is on the floor
I smile in satisfaction
he thought I would be an easy meal
too weak to take bold action

the wolf dies on the floor
no longer a threat to me
I write my name with his cooling blood
for other wolves to see

Photos from iStock and Pinterest

Five Equals One

I am mute…
too much screaming deafens love.
I am blind…
angry eyes bring down darkness.
I can’t taste…
foul bitterness coats my tongue.
I can’t smell…
decaying lives occlude my nostrils.
I can’t feel…
sadness surrounds my desolate heart.
I am empty…
a lonely vessel, yearning to be filled.

Photo from Morguefile

Words

sleek and slimy, your words slither through my mind
looking for the perfect spot to bury their rotten fruit…
dark and deceitful, they search out doubtful soil
the most fertile place to plant seeds of backdoor guilt

black and blue, the almost-hidden quagmire of blameless soil
cries out as holes are punched in its belly of insecurities…
willful and wicked, the tainted words are dropped in
where they burst open and sink their greedy, guileful roots

and the cycle begins again…

Image from Pixabay

Black Is

black is…
the color of the ocean floor
the color of the deepest well
the color of a witch’s cat
the color of a lover’s spell

black is…
the color of infinity
the color of a new-moon night
the color of secrecy
the color of a dream that never takes flight

black is…
the color of a broken heart
the color of a demented mind
the color of an empty life
the color left behind

black is…
the color I breathe
the color I see
the color I taste
the color that owns me

for black is…
me

Photo from Morguefile

Legion

it starts
and it ends
takes flight on dark wings
and soars from my pen

hell rises up
heaven falls
demons rush in
and pass through the walls
of the human psyche shored up
by gossamer gods and magic pills
tromp through mephitic mires of disbelief
brandishing swords, counting kills

nothing can protect you
not pleas, not prayers, nor unholy deals
from the metaphysical monsters I’ve set free
to nip and bite, sink razor teeth into your heels
and drag your bloody carcass down
into the tenebrous pits below
to rip apart your flesh
and feast upon your soul

it starts
and it ends
takes flight on dark wings
and soars from my pen

An old poem from a previous blog.

Photo from Pixabay